It’s not easy to keep a marriage healthy and vibrant for the long term, as anyone who has tried it can attest. There are so many things that can come between two spouses, like careers, overbooked schedules, family obligations… and pornography. Porn is a multi-billion dollar industry (more profitable than all the major league sports in the US), and it affects countless individuals, couples and families. There is a lot of misinformation about pornography: that it can be consumed without a negative impact, that it is not a real addiction, and that it does not harm marriages (and can even help them). But in reality, porn usage by either partner in a marriage causes them to find sexual fulfillment somewhere other than their spouse, and this has grave consequences. It drives a wedge between the two people, dissolving intimacy, communication, and trust. Often this damage is never undone: porn is a major factor in over half of divorces.
Kevin’s guests are Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo, creators of One Extraordinary Marriage (the number one marriage podcast on iTunes). Over 9 years ago, Tony admitted to Alisa that he had been addicted to pornography for 18 years. Rather than ending their marriage, this admission started them on a journey of restoring intimacy and trust, by removing all the things that had been getting in the way (including porn). Though the road was hard, their marriage became much stronger after than it was before. Now Tony and Alisa use their podcast and website (OneExtraordinaryMarriage.com) to help other couples work through struggles and restore/strengthen their intimacy. Tony and Alisa have resolved not to shy away from addressing the more personal or unpleasant struggles that come with marriage, including those relating to sex and pornography. Their hope is that the work they do can help millions of couples overcome hurdles like they did — one marriage at a time.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” — Matthew 5:27-28
This episode first aired on December 20th, 2015.