Red Flags and Reading People with Dr. Wendy Patrick

[00:00:00] thanks for being here this evening my

[00:00:01] name is Kevin Conover I’m your host on

[00:00:02] educate for Life radio we’re

[00:00:04] broadcasting down here in Southern

[00:00:06] California on K praise 1210 a.m. as well

[00:00:10] as FM 106.1 in North County my guest

[00:00:13] this evening is Wendy Patrick and um Dr

[00:00:17] Wendy Patrick she’s a career prosecutor

[00:00:19] over 170 trials she she is a a part of

[00:00:23] the association of threat threat

[00:00:25] assessment profession professionals

[00:00:27] excuse me um she’s the author of

[00:00:29] multiple books one being red flags how

[00:00:31] to spot Frenemies underminers and

[00:00:33] Ruthless People and she has been all

[00:00:36] over the news um just as an expert guest

[00:00:39] um on different shows like Fox and

[00:00:43] others in order to testify and speak to

[00:00:47] uh criminal cases and all kinds of other

[00:00:50] events and situations um she’s just very

[00:00:53] very good at assessing people because

[00:00:56] this is what she’s done Wendy thanks for

[00:00:58] being here today oh Kevin thank you for

[00:01:00] having me absolutely uh you have a very

[00:01:03] interesting career this is this must

[00:01:04] have been just um very interesting to be

[00:01:08] able to do what you do I mean it’s

[00:01:10] basically you’re you’re like living in a

[00:01:12] in a almost a uh you know criminal case

[00:01:15] show constantly in what you’re doing is

[00:01:18] tell us a little bit about your

[00:01:19] background and how you got into

[00:01:20] Prosecuting criminals you know truth is

[00:01:23] Stranger Than Fiction H that’s why real

[00:01:26] crime stories on television are so much

[00:01:28] more interesting than any of the crime

[00:01:29] crime dramas that we grew up with um

[00:01:32] believe it or not Kevin and nobody that

[00:01:34] knows me can believe this I actually

[00:01:35] started my legal career as a deputy

[00:01:37] public defender defending the Indigent

[00:01:40] and I did a lot of Trials I represented

[00:01:44] thousands of people and you know my

[00:01:46] heart was just in the prosecution side

[00:01:49] and I always used to make the joke that

[00:01:51] when you go to law school as you

[00:01:52] probably know you you’re probably a

[00:01:53] lawyer too Kevin I think everybody is

[00:01:55] you argue one side of the case in the

[00:01:57] morning you argue the other side in the

[00:01:58] afternoon you have to see everything

[00:02:00] from both uh both perspectives but I do

[00:02:02] have to say what got me interested in

[00:02:05] writing books is my work as both a

[00:02:08] criminal defense attorney and a

[00:02:10] prosecutor in the reading people

[00:02:13] analysis um trying to read red flags

[00:02:16] deciding how to distinguish the

[00:02:18] dangerous from the desirable and then of

[00:02:21] course my latest book U is is a

[00:02:23] Christian book called why bad looks good

[00:02:25] which is the name of a column I’ve been

[00:02:27] writing for about 10 years in Psych

[00:02:30] today and it just gets more interesting

[00:02:33] every day and I I mean that uh

[00:02:35] wholeheartedly there isn’t a day that

[00:02:37] goes by that I don’t see something new

[00:02:39] or something I never noticed before so I

[00:02:42] I suppose a career like this is the gift

[00:02:44] that keeps on giving absolutely um and

[00:02:48] why did you write why bad looks good I

[00:02:49] mean obviously you’ve been writing the

[00:02:51] you’ve been you you have a column titled

[00:02:53] this and um who are you ministering to

[00:02:56] who are you reaching in this column who

[00:02:57] is your ideal reader who needs this

[00:03:02] information that you’re sharing you

[00:03:04] could not have asked me that and phrased

[00:03:06] it any better than you did unbelievers

[00:03:09] in a word it Christians know that the

[00:03:12] Bible is the the biggest book of advice

[00:03:15] and wisdom in the world and it it is

[00:03:18] just one of those places that has

[00:03:20] something for everyone and an answer to

[00:03:22] every question doesn’t matter when it

[00:03:23] was written they Evergreen answers

[00:03:26] because unlike the law which changes

[00:03:28] every six months and every time there’s

[00:03:29] an election or a referendum biblical

[00:03:31] truths will never change Jesus Christ is

[00:03:34] who he is today tomorrow and for

[00:03:37] eternity so I wrote it for unbelievers

[00:03:39] and the reason that I uh have chapters

[00:03:42] that are very provocatively titled um

[00:03:46] when lust looks like love you know all

[00:03:49] the kinds of things that would really

[00:03:51] raise the attention of anybody that’s

[00:03:52] interested in learning more about how to

[00:03:54] have a good life is once you read the

[00:03:57] the scripture that’s in there I can tell

[00:03:59] you that that people that don’t yet know

[00:04:01] Jesus Christ are going to say I had no

[00:04:02] idea the Bible had this many tips and

[00:04:06] strategies and ways in which I could

[00:04:08] find the truth and be happy find

[00:04:10] solutions to problems so it was really

[00:04:13] meant to Showcase why it’s the world’s

[00:04:17] best-selling book because it does have

[00:04:19] more information in it for everyone to

[00:04:22] have a wonderful life so that was sort

[00:04:24] of the hook um and then of course it’s

[00:04:26] just filled with Biblical truth 25

[00:04:28] chapters there there’s there’s something

[00:04:30] in there for

[00:04:31] everyone so you know this is uh

[00:04:33] interesting you know the Bible says as

[00:04:35] you know that the devil masquerades as

[00:04:37] an angel of Light I mean his primary

[00:04:39] tool in order to get people off track

[00:04:41] and away from the Lord is through

[00:04:43] deception is through putting on a mask

[00:04:47] and pretending to be somebody he’s not

[00:04:49] um and I imagine right that your career

[00:04:51] is filled with that is people who put on

[00:04:53] a mask and are pretending there’re

[00:04:55] somebody they’re completely not um so

[00:04:58] can you speak to the title a little bit

[00:05:00] as far as why is it that bad seems to be

[00:05:04] so attractive when we know that God’s

[00:05:07] intentions are only good for us and yet

[00:05:10] we often are attracted to the bad what’s

[00:05:13] going on there psychologically

[00:05:15] psychologically there are two ways to

[00:05:17] look at this one is um as the title of

[00:05:21] my thesis says uh remember that Jesus

[00:05:24] sent out his disciples as sheep among

[00:05:27] wolves making them make sure they as

[00:05:30] shrewd as snakes innocent as doves

[00:05:32] Matthew 10:16 my PhD in theology

[00:05:35] actually focused on the psychology of

[00:05:37] Attraction as I’ve learned it to be

[00:05:40] through the through at that point the 20

[00:05:42] years of practice now it’s been 30 years

[00:05:43] but who’s counting but the reason if you

[00:05:47] if you look at it from the wolf and

[00:05:49] sheep’s clothing uh perspective and

[00:05:51] we’ll start there because I hate to say

[00:05:53] it there are some people that are

[00:05:54] attracted to bad things because they

[00:05:56] look bad um and I actually have a

[00:05:58] chapter of that in my uh my last book

[00:06:00] red flags but we start with the

[00:06:02] deception of public perception that’s

[00:06:05] chapter one in why bad looks good and it

[00:06:07] answers your question pretty well across

[00:06:09] the board it is because the public

[00:06:12] perceives things exactly as the angel of

[00:06:15] Light scripture that you just mentioned

[00:06:17] that they perceive things as being good

[00:06:20] because they’re provocative they’re

[00:06:22] risky they’re they’re dark they’re

[00:06:24] experimental they’re all the types of

[00:06:27] things that as parents we would never

[00:06:29] want our children going after but it

[00:06:31] also progresses through some of the very

[00:06:35] real reasons that bad looks good that

[00:06:37] anybody can be deceived by um one of my

[00:06:40] chapters is entitled when bad sounds

[00:06:43] good the seduction of a silver tongue

[00:06:46] Bittersweet nothings hearing what you

[00:06:48] want to hear um the Halo of hypocrisy

[00:06:51] and it goes on and on and you can see by

[00:06:54] these titles and these subject areas

[00:06:56] Kevin that it’s because bad looks like

[00:07:00] something righteous and then when you

[00:07:01] get drawn into it you realize oh it’s

[00:07:04] got a little bit of an edge to it and

[00:07:06] that edge makes it a little bit more

[00:07:07] attractive you want to know more about

[00:07:09] it you want to try it you want to taste

[00:07:11] it instead of going to scripture and

[00:07:13] saying wait a minute should I really be

[00:07:14] going down this path or is it going to

[00:07:17] be light that’s actually the the

[00:07:19] headlight of an oncoming train and that

[00:07:21] is one of the reasons I have the titles

[00:07:24] being as provocative as they are because

[00:07:25] I want people to look I want people to

[00:07:28] look at what they should be seeing

[00:07:30] through the smoke screen of something

[00:07:32] bad being good one of the chapters is

[00:07:34] why bad feels good the seduction of

[00:07:38] sensuality um and I I mean I could go on

[00:07:41] and on the one of them is infatuate

[00:07:43] infatuation with instant gratification

[00:07:45] because I think that’s one of the most

[00:07:47] timely ways that you know the the devil

[00:07:50] snares people that are looking for a

[00:07:52] quick fix there’s always something there

[00:07:54] sadly that never ends up fixing anything

[00:07:56] and often makes matters worse

[00:07:59] uh you know I I teach teenagers I teach

[00:08:01] 12th grade students who are on the cusp

[00:08:03] of you know graduating and they’re

[00:08:06] they’ve got all this Freedom right in

[00:08:08] front of them that they’re going to be

[00:08:09] dealing with where uh a lot of

[00:08:11] restraints and a lot of accountability

[00:08:13] is going to be they’re going to be uh

[00:08:16] free from that and so your book seems so

[00:08:18] timely to me in that regard um and a lot

[00:08:21] of kids are looking at these temptations

[00:08:24] that are coming their way you know if

[00:08:26] somebody’s out there and and we all are

[00:08:28] in situations like there where you see

[00:08:30] somebody going in a direction that

[00:08:32] concerns you and you feel like your

[00:08:35] warnings are falling on deaf ears um in

[00:08:38] your experience having dealt with people

[00:08:41] that have made so many bad decisions

[00:08:43] what advice would you give somebody

[00:08:44] who’s in this um you know a little bit

[00:08:49] of authority over that person but

[00:08:51] they’re not quite sure how to help them

[00:08:53] move in the right direction because

[00:08:55] they’re so drawn into whatever that is

[00:08:58] that that that’s

[00:09:00] alluring Kevin I swear it’s it’s as if

[00:09:03] you and I scripted this back and forth

[00:09:06] that’s exactly what I say in my book is

[00:09:08] you have to pair a rule with a rationale

[00:09:12] lots of kids and you know this because

[00:09:14] you work with that that very tender age

[00:09:15] group lots of kids have grown up with

[00:09:17] parents that say do this and the rules

[00:09:19] are because I said so that’s not

[00:09:21] persuasive what’s persuasive is you have

[00:09:24] to be home at midnight because that’s

[00:09:26] when the bars let out and the drunk

[00:09:28] drivers enter the road regarding

[00:09:30] whatever state you live in live in Las

[00:09:31] Vegas I’m not sure what you say but if

[00:09:33] there’s a

[00:09:34] rationale behind a rule guess what

[00:09:37] teenagers they want to follow that rule

[00:09:39] because they don’t want to end up in in

[00:09:41] a bad position one more thing that you

[00:09:45] probably know working with 12th graders

[00:09:47] is sharing something of your own

[00:09:50] experiences everybody loves storytelling

[00:09:52] especially when the stories are true and

[00:09:54] it just humanizes us as adults as having

[00:09:58] made mistakes ourselves now I think

[00:10:00] there’s a limit to what you share and I

[00:10:02] I would be the first proponent that says

[00:10:04] you this is not the time to air all your

[00:10:05] dirty laundry but when you’re talking

[00:10:08] very specifically about how to resist

[00:10:10] specific temptations that are in front

[00:10:12] of today’s youth it is important to talk

[00:10:15] about the rationale I mean just you

[00:10:18] recently we’re talking more about Ai and

[00:10:20] sex sex uh sex tortion and exploitation

[00:10:23] and vulnerabilities and there are just

[00:10:25] so many things out there that they can

[00:10:27] unintentionally step in

[00:10:29] um and sometimes risky looks rewarding

[00:10:32] and we’re here to tell them exactly why

[00:10:34] it’s not darkness is not desirable it’s

[00:10:38] dangerous and once you establish Rapport

[00:10:41] enough to give them the rule and the

[00:10:42] rationale behind the rule they’re much

[00:10:44] more inclined not only to listen to you

[00:10:46] but to decide for themselves this is

[00:10:48] what I always want my jurors to do

[00:10:50] decide for themselves what the right

[00:10:52] thing is to do oh that’s great advice

[00:10:55] and so really I just want to rehash that

[00:10:58] because I feel like that’s such a value

[00:10:59] Val piece of advice which is that you’ve

[00:11:02] got to give them the reason behind the

[00:11:05] the rule the reason behind the advice

[00:11:07] and share with them testimonies about

[00:11:09] people who have gone through that one of

[00:11:11] the things I did was I took a bunch of

[00:11:12] kids to juvenile hall um one time

[00:11:15] because I was like well let’s really

[00:11:16] show them what it’s like here uh you

[00:11:18] know and what where they could end up

[00:11:20] and and so we actually did it the uh

[00:11:23] local San Diego um juvenile office was

[00:11:27] doing a open house and so uh took him

[00:11:30] down there and walked them through that

[00:11:31] and I think that was pretty eyee

[00:11:32] openening for a lot of them so that’s

[00:11:34] kind of where you’re going with this is

[00:11:36] um helping you one of the things you

[00:11:39] said is that a good you said a good

[00:11:41] prosecutor isn’t just Prosecuting crime

[00:11:43] they’re helping prevent crime um yes and

[00:11:48] so speak to that a little bit because

[00:11:51] what you’re doing is you’re trying to

[00:11:52] cut that off at the past you’re trying

[00:11:54] to say hey we can prevent this from

[00:11:56] happening if we you’re willing to listen

[00:12:00] and we can tell these stories we can

[00:12:01] tell these experiences of what happens

[00:12:03] when you go down here is that right

[00:12:05] absolutely and Kevin the beauty of being

[00:12:07] able to speak to young people is

[00:12:10] sometimes it’s amazing the extent to

[00:12:11] which they they have the short-term

[00:12:13] Vision as to well what can happen a

[00:12:15] juvenile record will be sealed I gotta

[00:12:17] tell you in an age of social media

[00:12:18] people find out anything you ever did if

[00:12:21] anybody doubts that watch the next

[00:12:22] confirmation Hearing in Congress and

[00:12:25] watch these people that have illustrious

[00:12:27] careers be asked about how many beers

[00:12:29] they drank in high school I mean like

[00:12:32] never before your past follows you it’s

[00:12:35] like the great TSA checkpoint at the

[00:12:37] airport you go through the screening and

[00:12:39] so does all your baggage it’s not sealed

[00:12:41] even if it is everybody knows about it I

[00:12:43] mean if we could have a supreme court

[00:12:45] opinion reversing Row versus Wade leak

[00:12:49] you think that what you did in your past

[00:12:51] isn’t going to leak now these are just

[00:12:53] some of the the the very persuasive

[00:12:56] talking points that we can use to

[00:12:58] explain young people there’s a way to

[00:13:00] make sure naked pictures of you aren’t

[00:13:02] on the internet don’t take any uh and

[00:13:05] and these are just some of the very

[00:13:06] common sense things now what about AI

[00:13:09] you don’t even have to take any what

[00:13:10] about the programs that is one of the

[00:13:12] other reasons that kids need to make

[00:13:14] sure to choose their friends wisely you

[00:13:18] talk about how do we keep them out of

[00:13:19] trouble um my parents used to say show

[00:13:22] me your friends and I’ll show you your

[00:13:23] future isn’t that still true today is

[00:13:27] the crowd that you run with

[00:13:29] that often can make or break your

[00:13:31] ability to have a bright future now I am

[00:13:34] the first person to say Jesus Christ can

[00:13:36] turn it all around regardless of what

[00:13:38] you’ve done he can turn it all around

[00:13:40] make you good as new and then protect

[00:13:43] you and your reputation moving forward

[00:13:45] in fact if anything sometimes your past

[00:13:47] makes you a more credible Christian just

[00:13:49] goes to show there is fruit in a new

[00:13:51] life and you’ve turned a corner so I

[00:13:54] would also remind kids about that you

[00:13:56] know it’s all it’s almost it doesn’t

[00:13:58] have to be fa faith-based to begin with

[00:14:01] but as they learn more about you and

[00:14:02] your witness why not add Jesus to the

[00:14:06] equation and give them a really great

[00:14:08] path forward amen amen uh you know along

[00:14:11] those same lines speaking back to the

[00:14:13] teenage issue one of the things is you

[00:14:15] know you you mentioned that very popular

[00:14:16] phrase show me your friends and I’ll

[00:14:18] show you your future one of the things

[00:14:20] you’re an expert in is reading people

[00:14:22] you’re able to look at people and be

[00:14:25] able to assess them in a way that the

[00:14:28] average person isn’t going be able to do

[00:14:30] what tips or ideas maybe things that are

[00:14:33] kind of a quick piece of information or

[00:14:34] a nugget would you give to a teenager as

[00:14:37] they’re going off to college because

[00:14:38] that’s where a lot of them going they’re

[00:14:40] they’re all new faces and a lot of these

[00:14:42] young people aren’t necessarily real

[00:14:43] good at reading people what kind of kind

[00:14:46] of advice would you give a young man or

[00:14:47] a young woman as they’re on that campus

[00:14:50] as a freshman and they’re going to now

[00:14:52] be making friends what are some of the

[00:14:54] things that they should be looking out

[00:14:56] for and uh staying away from in people

[00:14:59] but also looking for in people besides

[00:15:02] the obvious things that that you know

[00:15:03] are there well it’s funny that you ended

[00:15:07] with the obvious things that are there

[00:15:09] because I was GNA start with the fact

[00:15:12] that obvious red flags aren’t perceived

[00:15:15] because kids often aren’t paying

[00:15:17] attention hey by the way neither are

[00:15:19] adults we can’t pick on the teenagers I

[00:15:21] was just noticing and I noticed all day

[00:15:23] long every day how much eye contact I

[00:15:25] ever make with strangers or even with

[00:15:27] people I’m meeting at a party because on

[00:15:29] their device you know I I watch people

[00:15:31] when they come into a restaurant to see

[00:15:33] what their demeanor is like do they have

[00:15:34] chemistry do they got game going on we

[00:15:37] used to use that terminology when I was

[00:15:38] growing up in other words you’re like

[00:15:40] you’re you’re like the ultimate people

[00:15:42] Watcher partner it’s like you somebody

[00:15:45] could sit next to you and just you could

[00:15:47] just be like and that person’s doing

[00:15:49] that’d be really funny you know what’s

[00:15:51] interesting is you know Kevin as much as

[00:15:53] I look and listen which I think you

[00:15:54] should there’s a another dimension to

[00:15:57] reading people it’s how they make you

[00:16:00] feel and you are never as objective as

[00:16:03] you are upon the first meeting have you

[00:16:05] ever met somebody and just felt

[00:16:08] unsettled you know teen dating violence

[00:16:11] and retrospect when I talk to young men

[00:16:13] and women they tell me that right from

[00:16:14] the first meeting they felt uneasy they

[00:16:18] the the hair went up on the back of

[00:16:20] their neck they they felt like they’

[00:16:22] rather be somewhere else but they

[00:16:24] chocked it up to oh it’s probably

[00:16:25] nothing after all I don’t want to be

[00:16:27] rude and that feeling regardless of what

[00:16:31] you see is very telling in fact I would

[00:16:33] argue it’s more telling it it almost

[00:16:35] signals counterintuition in other words

[00:16:38] you know somebody is nice they’re

[00:16:40] they’re you know get they get good

[00:16:41] grades but they’re just making you feel

[00:16:44] either bad or unsettled or or the

[00:16:47] terminology they’re using the way

[00:16:48] they’re looking at you it’s almost as if

[00:16:50] you were to turn on the news and see a

[00:16:52] news broadcast or talking about a plane

[00:16:54] crash looking excited about it studies

[00:16:56] show that’s a threat assessment response

[00:16:59] that we have so when you talk about

[00:17:01] looking and listening your antenna are

[00:17:03] not going to be up if your nose is

[00:17:05] buried in your device so you have to

[00:17:07] take the time to put everything down

[00:17:09] especially if it’s important and take

[00:17:11] the time to look and listen because that

[00:17:13] first impression you’re going to

[00:17:14] actually have reading glasses on instead

[00:17:16] of those rose-colored glasses you may

[00:17:19] have on if you start digging the other

[00:17:21] person and uh you start going down the

[00:17:23] road to you know maybe thinking a little

[00:17:26] bit more charitably about them that

[00:17:28] perhaps they deserve yeah so really it’s

[00:17:31] about paying attention it’s about being

[00:17:33] aware versus uh you know maybe treating

[00:17:36] it too casually or

[00:17:38] flippantly you also have to make sure

[00:17:41] that not only do you ask the right

[00:17:44] questions about themselves their their

[00:17:47] um their interests their friends their

[00:17:50] family but listen to the answers now why

[00:17:54] do you do that not only are you gaining

[00:17:56] information but if you’re interested you

[00:17:58] are also really gaining some traction

[00:18:02] into having the other person decide hey

[00:18:04] I really like this person they genuinely

[00:18:07] authentically appear to be interested in

[00:18:09] me so it’s that interest attention and

[00:18:12] respect I always tell people go home and

[00:18:14] try this on your partner or your spouse

[00:18:16] tonight you know what did you do today

[00:18:18] and then you you ask a follow-up

[00:18:20] question you’ll be amazed at how quickly

[00:18:23] they end up thinking you know I want to

[00:18:25] spend more time with the man I’ve been

[00:18:26] married to for 30 years it’s incredible

[00:18:29] the way that works so it works with new

[00:18:30] relationships for the variety of reasons

[00:18:32] we’ve just discussed and it also

[00:18:34] enhances uh relationships that may have

[00:18:37] existed for decades yeah my uh my mom is

[00:18:40] really really good at that like she is

[00:18:42] so friendly and so nice she just has

[00:18:44] this she’s she’s uh in her 90s now but

[00:18:48] she’s just has built a reputation as

[00:18:51] just a sweetheart because she

[00:18:53] immediately asks people about themselves

[00:18:56] uh she’s very and she’s very sincere and

[00:18:58] authentic and wants to know really about

[00:19:00] you and she’s so excited to see you

[00:19:03] sometimes I’m like Mom why are you so

[00:19:04] excited right now but it’s a great it’s

[00:19:07] a Char it’s a great characteristic you

[00:19:09] know and a good um a good thing there

[00:19:12] but there are other people I’ve met who

[00:19:14] I feel like are overly friendly and it’s

[00:19:16] odd and I I go okay something’s a little

[00:19:20] weird I feel like you’re being way too

[00:19:22] nice to me right now why are you so nice

[00:19:25] and it doesn’t fit right you know and so

[00:19:28] um those are some of the things that you

[00:19:30] catch and you’ve written about in your

[00:19:33] books in your ability to read people I

[00:19:35] call that the butterup what do you want

[00:19:38] and that’s a really good question if

[00:19:40] somebody is flattering you for all the

[00:19:42] wrong reasons and flattery is very

[00:19:45] tricky in an age of sexual harassment it

[00:19:47] is far safer to flatter Somebody by

[00:19:50] commenting on their work performance

[00:19:53] their achievements their accomplishments

[00:19:54] the fact that they’re an inspiration

[00:19:56] they’re an encourager and God forbid if

[00:19:58] you think somebody’s wearing a great

[00:20:00] dress it’s much safer to say great dress

[00:20:03] than you look great that dress I mean I

[00:20:05] could we could do a whole segment just

[00:20:07] on that but you know flattery has to do

[00:20:10] with things that you uh uniquely notice

[00:20:13] about somebody that not only makes them

[00:20:15] who they are but also makes them proud

[00:20:18] to be who they are they will remember

[00:20:20] you they will tell you they tell their

[00:20:22] friends and family about what you said

[00:20:24] about them um and these are some of the

[00:20:26] things that if they’re authentic it’s

[00:20:28] what we should be doing it makes us a

[00:20:30] good witness as a Christian so not only

[00:20:34] uh is it you know about winning friends

[00:20:36] and influencing people it’s also about

[00:20:38] having a great authentic witness

[00:20:40] absolutely um well for those of you just

[00:20:43] listening my my guest today is Dr Wendy

[00:20:47] Patrick her new book is why bad looks

[00:20:49] good you can get that from her website

[00:20:51] Wendy Patrick phd.com along with all her

[00:20:54] other books there’s so much good stuff

[00:20:56] here and I just feel like in this day an

[00:20:58] age when there are so many people that

[00:21:01] are deceptive that have ulterior motives

[00:21:04] um when there’s so much going on with

[00:21:06] social media where you can pretend to be

[00:21:08] somebody you’re not uh this is a really

[00:21:11] good time to read a book like this where

[00:21:13] you can just get the Insight it’s not

[00:21:15] something that always comes naturally

[00:21:17] the ability to read people I think I

[00:21:18] imagine uh Wendy that there are people

[00:21:20] that do have more of a natural ability

[00:21:22] to read others uh just based on their

[00:21:24] personality temperament but but for

[00:21:27] anybody this is a skill that is

[00:21:28] developed over time is that true

[00:21:31] absolutely and you know you’re also

[00:21:33] correct that anybody can cultivate it

[00:21:35] you know some of my best Witnesses in

[00:21:37] trial have been bystanders that just

[00:21:39] noticed something that didn’t seem right

[00:21:42] and remembered it or reported it so and

[00:21:45] they would never have fancied themselves

[00:21:47] behavioral experts yet we are we have

[00:21:50] that god-given instinct that does allow

[00:21:54] us it’s like somebody gets into the

[00:21:55] elevator and you feel a certain way to

[00:21:58] such a strong extent that you get out

[00:22:00] you can’t explain why but it’s because

[00:22:02] of something you heard noticed smelled

[00:22:05] whatever it is everybody has senses like

[00:22:08] that and I’m proud to say that some

[00:22:10] people that would never it never

[00:22:12] describe themselves as extraordinary

[00:22:14] have not only been the best Witnesses

[00:22:16] but often have been the witnesses that

[00:22:17] cracked a case so nobody can downplay

[00:22:20] their ability to read people as well as

[00:22:22] people that have degrees in the practice

[00:22:25] and this is an opportunity to look after

[00:22:27] others right this is what God has called

[00:22:29] us to do um esteem others better than

[00:22:31] ourselves look after not only our own

[00:22:33] interest but the interest of others and

[00:22:35] as Christians we’re called to care about

[00:22:37] the people around us we’re not we’re not

[00:22:39] called to just think about hey where am

[00:22:41] I going but to look around and say hey

[00:22:43] are the people around me safe and to

[00:22:45] care about those people so um thank you

[00:22:47] so much Wendy for all that you do and

[00:22:49] you continue to do and uh for those of

[00:22:51] you listening she’s also a concert

[00:22:53] violinist so um you are a very busy

[00:22:56] woman and that’s uh fantastic that you

[00:22:59] invest your time so uh wonderfully in um

[00:23:01] the good that you’re doing as a

[00:23:02] Christian and then also just being able

[00:23:04] to enjoy all that God has given us so

[00:23:06] thank you for all that you do um you’re

[00:23:08] a blessing right back at you Kevin thank

[00:23:10] you for having me okay have a wonderful

[00:23:12] evening and for those of you listening

[00:23:14] we’ll be back next time we have some

[00:23:16] other fantastic guests lined up uh that

[00:23:18] are a huge blessing as God invests in

[00:23:20] them and then they invest in the people

[00:23:22] around them looking forward to you being

[00:23:24] with us next time my website’s educate

[00:23:26] forlife.org all kinds of incredible

[00:23:28] resour ources on there to help

[00:23:29] strengthen your Fai and faith and your

[00:23:31] confidence in the word of God uh have a

[00:23:33] wonderful evening we’ll see you next

[00:23:35] time when you need tires or service

[00:23:37] count on Conover tires wheels and

[00:23:39] service in Oceanside for a full range of

[00:23:41] affordable options in all the brands you

[00:23:43] trust see their great customer reviews

[00:23:45] and special offers online hours Tuesday

[00:23:48] through Friday 7:30 to 5:30 and

[00:23:50] Saturdays 7:30 to 5: call Dan and his

[00:23:52] team at 760- 4391 1631 Conover tires

[00:23:57] wheels and service 2405 Oceanside

[00:24:00] Boulevard in Oceanside 760 4391 1631 how

[00:24:04] can you live in San Diego and miss out

[00:24:07] on enjoying the water fast lane kayaking

[00:24:09] sells popular hobiecat kayaks that you

[00:24:12] pedal not paddle that means your hands

[00:24:14] are left free for fishing and fun just

[00:24:17] throw these on your roof rack they’re

[00:24:19] light and they’re easy to use and

[00:24:20] maintain just rinse them off try one

[00:24:23] free on a demo ride for 36 years Ron and

[00:24:26] Debbie Lane have served San Diego with

[00:24:28] fun familyfriendly water sports of all

[00:24:31] kinds learn more fastlanes sailing.com

[00:24:34] 619 222

[00:24:36] 0766 educate for life helps you build

[00:24:39] your life on the Rock LG equipment helps

[00:24:41] Builders build on good soil Luke

[00:24:43] Gibson’s team at LG equipment is your

[00:24:45] local source for grading demolition

[00:24:47] hauling and more learn about their bulk

[00:24:49] water services from trucks to tankers to

[00:24:51] Towers at rwater tower.com get your

[00:24:55] questions answered call LG equipment at

[00:24:57] 619 988

[00:25:00] 924 learn more at LG equipment.com 619

[00:25:04] 988

[00:25:06] 924 hi this is Jason Hall president of

[00:25:09] Team Home Loans a branch of synergy1

[00:25:11] lending I just want to take this

[00:25:12] opportunity to thank Kevin Conover for

[00:25:14] the profound impact he’s had on mine and

[00:25:17] my wife’s spiritual life as well as

[00:25:18] being an incredible teacher while our

[00:25:20] kids were his students his knowledge and

[00:25:22] passion have taught us all how important

[00:25:24] it is to be Defenders of our faith it’s

[00:25:26] our honor and privilege to support Kevin

[00:25:28] and his show it is our sincere hope and

[00:25:30] prayer that you will continue to learn

[00:25:32] to be Defenders of your faith through

[00:25:33] Kevin’s radio show and through his

[00:25:35] educate for Life teachings thank you

[00:25:37] Kevin from the hall family and team home

[00:25:40] loans