The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated with Cindi McMenamin

[00:00:00] thanks a lot for being here this evening my name is Kevin Conover and we are broadcasting down here in Southern California on kpra 1210 a.m as well as

[00:00:09] FM 106.1 in North County and my uh website is educate forlife.org you can

[00:00:16] find all kinds of resources there to help strengthen your faith and grow your walk in Christ and today we’re going to

[00:00:22] be talking about an epidemic what’s been called an epidemic by the Surgeon General um in 2023 a report from the US

[00:00:31] Surgeon General declared loneliness an epidemic one that affects about one out of every two American adults the

[00:00:37] mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day if

[00:00:44] you can believe it the report stated the degree of severe repercussions loneliness can have on both physical and

[00:00:51] mental health is dramatic um and I’m sure you yourself have probably

[00:00:56] experienced loneliness or you know somebody who has um it’s something that seems to be going around all over our

[00:01:03] country to one degree or another I was reading another report um from Harvard

[00:01:09] they did a study in 2024 and I thought it was very interesting uh what they said the Harvard Harvard Graduate School

[00:01:15] of Education and they were asked you know what does it mean to be lonely what does it feel like to be lonely and um

[00:01:22] the Surgeon General again described it like this they said it’s a subjective distressing experience that results from

[00:01:28] perceived isolation or inadequate meaningful connections where inadequate

[00:01:33] refers to the discrepancy or unmet need between an individual’s preferred and

[00:01:39] actual experience they went on to say the researchers noted um what they

[00:01:44] called existential loneliness was a fundamental sense of disconnection from others or the world of those who were

[00:01:51] lonely 65% said they felt fundamentally separate or disconnected from others or

[00:01:58] the world and 57% said they were unable to share their true selves with others

[00:02:04] and I have a wonderful guest this evening um her name is Cindy mcmeniman

[00:02:10] and she recently came out with a book that’s very appropriate to our our times

[00:02:16] and what we’re dealing with called the new loneliness and uh she also wrote uh

[00:02:21] quite a while ago an award-winning book um titled when women Walk Alone that

[00:02:27] that’s had more than 160,000 copies old and she’s written a total of 17 books

[00:02:33] Cindy thank you so much for being on the program today you’re welcome good to be talking with you today yeah uh this is

[00:02:40] such a pressing issue um you know I teach high school students and it’s something that comes up very frequently

[00:02:46] um in their own lives and they’re all dealing with uh you know technology trying to navigate friendships and it’s

[00:02:54] such a weird place we’re in where you can literally uh be looking at the the

[00:02:59] social media posts and yet feel so alone and disconnected um what was it about

[00:03:06] your own life that drove you to start focusing on um the issue of loneliness

[00:03:11] and trying to help people deal with it well I’ve always been a people person um

[00:03:17] but I work from home and I coach clients and I do a lot of writing and editing

[00:03:22] and so I’m constantly in my study on my computer and it it wasn’t even covid

[00:03:28] when we had to isolate when my daughter walked in my study one day and she said mom you don’t have any friends anymore

[00:03:34] and I said what are you talking about I have tons of friends she said I’m not talking about your writing clients I’m

[00:03:40] not talking about the people in Ministry that you meet with I’m not talking about your networking lunches she said who do

[00:03:45] you go out with and just bury your soul with you you never really get out of the house and I thought that isn’t me and

[00:03:51] then I thought that is me because that’s how subtly just being in front of my laptop could be now add into that uh Co

[00:04:00] and our habits of um teleconferencing how it’s so much easier

[00:04:06] to just stay in my jammies and watch church instead of be there and when you

[00:04:11] look at all of that we’ve now become observers of life rather than

[00:04:16] participants in it social media you know has us uh thinking that we are more

[00:04:22] connected than ever but we’re not and there’s sometimes when I talk to

[00:04:28] somebody you know online or face Facebook comment and and then there’s the idea that we’re keeping in touch and we’ve been around each other and then I

[00:04:34] recently got together with a friend and we realized it had been a couple decades since we’ve gotten together but the idea

[00:04:41] was oh no we we talk all the time but we don’t I see things going on but I’m not

[00:04:47] interacting and that face to face human touch even being aware of our people

[00:04:53] presence um eye contact we’ve lost a lot of that in the last 5 to 10 years years

[00:05:01] yeah I thought this was really interesting the title of your book is significant the new loneliness and you

[00:05:07] know not too long ago uh life was so much different than it is currently I was just reflecting on this with some

[00:05:13] kids they were asking me about my high school experience and I we had no cell phone I I was still using uh

[00:05:20] payones it’s so funny to think about um just how we had to get together and

[00:05:25] everything but um what is it that’s changed so dram atically that you

[00:05:30] decided to title your book the new loneliness what is different about today than what it was before when you wrote

[00:05:37] your original um bestselling book when women Walk Alone yeah when women Walk Alone was about those alone times in our

[00:05:43] life and how we can draw closer to God through them I didn’t talk that much about interpersonal relationships um

[00:05:50] because as long as we’ve got that with God and then of course you know surrounding yourself with support and stuff like that the new loneliness is

[00:05:57] that deeper ache we feel from our Reliance on technology and the diminishing element of human interaction

[00:06:04] and touch it’s uh that emptiness that social media brings on again when we we

[00:06:11] think well I got a lot of friends and I feel connected but study after study shows that while we get that dopamine

[00:06:17] Rush when somebody gives us a like or shares something or says something nice we can crash immediately if we don’t

[00:06:23] have many likes if we don’t have much of that so the anxiety that’s just coming through that AI a great help but another

[00:06:31] thing that distances us from people um it’s easier to go online and chat but

[00:06:36] you know what when you can get somebody on the phone um then you’re getting another step closer to what we were

[00:06:44] created to experience God did not intend for us to be isolated he created us to

[00:06:50] live in community with one another and especially the body of Christ other

[00:06:56] believers who can help us and strengthen us um otherwise you know we can be with

[00:07:01] God and think oh I’m with God I’m great but we need others in our lives Big Time

[00:07:06] amen um yeah I know Genesis 218 right it says the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone and uh you know

[00:07:14] sometimes we don’t realize the depth of certain statements made in scripture uh that is so so deep and um it it makes me

[00:07:22] reflect on the verse that says um you know do not forsake a meeting together a some are in the habit of doing and then

[00:07:29] there’s a another scripture um confess your sins to one another that you may be healed and um these are these scriptures

[00:07:36] are so important for what’s going on in the world today um you know even

[00:07:42] Ecclesiastes 4 9-2 um it isn’t good for one to be alone you know what I mean um

[00:07:48] you know we need each other if we’re to fall who’s going to pick us up as iron sharpens iron again you know and uh in

[00:07:54] the Proverbs and so yeah so I’m just curious um you know I I have students

[00:07:59] that are graduating from high school they’re moving on out of high school and they’re they’re you know going into this

[00:08:05] new world where they’re to a large degree they’re on their own their life is theirs they have to make decisions um

[00:08:11] and sure their parents are still going to be there with them but what advice would you give to young people maybe

[00:08:17] somebody graduating high school and you have the foresight to be able to see

[00:08:23] what’s ahead and what they’re going to be dealing with what kind of counsel would you give to them to say prepare

[00:08:29] for this and this is how you can avoid loneliness As you move on into adulthood

[00:08:34] what kind of guidance would you give them that’s that’s a good question because uh my daughter is a millennial

[00:08:39] and she’s in a hiring position and she’s seeing a lot of kids come out of high school and they don’t know how to

[00:08:44] interact so I would say start practicing your people presence practice eye contact start at home with your family

[00:08:51] and with your friends um start learning those things and if you haven’t been

[00:08:57] taught them um find those role models and a mentor in your life who can brush

[00:09:02] up on the please and thank you and just um developing a strong work ethic a lot

[00:09:09] of that’s missing and it is not right to bring your phone to work to scroll

[00:09:15] through to check your messages in an interview at work anytime you’re around

[00:09:20] people that’s actually considered rude and a lot of adults aren’t modeling that yeah but you go into a restaurant and

[00:09:28] you’ve got a whole family sitting there and all four of them are on their screens rather than talking with one

[00:09:34] another so while our technology can help us we can’t have that Ultra Reliance on

[00:09:40] our technology we’ve got to get back into uh knowing how to relate to people knowing how to talk knowing how to write

[00:09:48] and not just use emojis yeah AB knowing how to express our feelings yes so so you really feel

[00:09:54] that um what’s going on with the phones and people’s there it’s it’s

[00:09:59] um actually creating loneliness um because I had a student one time say to me uh he he was playing a lot of video

[00:10:06] games he was on the video games all the time and he said Mr I I said you know I don’t think that’s healthy for you the

[00:10:13] amount of times you spend on the video games and he said Mr Conover I have friends in the game those are my friends

[00:10:21] oh the actual characters in the game no no okay that happened too yeah people

[00:10:27] that he was playing the game with um like that were in other states but he’s

[00:10:32] still playing with them um is that does that count as uh social connection

[00:10:38] that’s going to prevent loneliness or does that not so FaceTime helps when we have a a

[00:10:46] family member or a friend who lives far away there is ways um that technology can help us if we would no not be able

[00:10:55] to be in person otherwise and that’s the standard I’ve had to use for my life so when I’m emailing somebody and they said

[00:11:01] hey uh can we uh can you give me some advice on such and such I’ve had to then

[00:11:07] begin to say you know what let’s get together face to face let’s make that happen and we have to be deliberate and

[00:11:13] intentional everybody’s busy but we can’t afford to be so busy that we lose

[00:11:19] our friends and we’ve we our definition of friends has definitely lowered

[00:11:24] Through The Years where they’re really more like contacts uh we know their name some times in a game we just know their

[00:11:30] their player name or their username uh or or their login but do we really know

[00:11:37] those people and if we don’t know how to go beyond surface level with people um

[00:11:44] in person um we’re going to become more and more lonely again we’ve got to

[00:11:49] participate in life not just view it through a screen not just uh having it

[00:11:55] you know electronic digital yeah absolutely um so you also noticed um the part one

[00:12:03] in your book the section it says reconnecting with god um what role does

[00:12:10] God play in preventing loneliness and how is that how is loneliness

[00:12:16] potentially a spiritual issue you know God created us for a

[00:12:21] relationship with him and there are a lot of believers who still are high on

[00:12:26] the anxiety charts high on depression charts high on um with just a lot of

[00:12:34] mental health issues and so much of that stems from who do you believe God is who

[00:12:40] do you know him to be do you know him in that relationship because we can profess a belief in him but we can uh maybe

[00:12:48] trust him with our eternal life but we’re not trusting him with our everyday life and so um I I hit it reconnecting

[00:12:56] with God reconnecting with your own heart and hurts and what might be preventing you from getting closer to

[00:13:03] others and then reconnecting actually with others and I really believe it starts in our relationship with God as

[00:13:10] we know what it’s like to be in a relationship with him to talk with him to Bear our heart with him I believe

[00:13:17] then he can give us that confidence in who we are in him to then befriend

[00:13:22] others and to be a good friend yeah that’s so along those same

[00:13:28] lines you know teaching us how to Bear our hearts one of the things that I read

[00:13:33] in the very beginning I thought was very interesting it said of those who were lonely 65% said they were fundamentally

[00:13:41] separate or disconnected from others or the world and 57% said they were unable

[00:13:47] to share their true selves with others um and then you referenced your daughter

[00:13:52] how she said um you know where are your friends what what do you do what would

[00:13:57] you what advice would you give to somebody who is like yeah I don’t really have any friends and I don’t have anybody I feel like I can trust uh where

[00:14:05] I can bear my true self I think that’s a really common uh issue is people feel

[00:14:11] like there’s nobody I can tell what’s really going on in my life how do you how do you get to the point where you

[00:14:16] can actually begin to develop those friendships because everybody’s scared right Everybody’s scared that I don’t I

[00:14:22] I don’t want people to judge me I don’t want people to you know so so what do you do in that case and in this cancel

[00:14:27] culture yes well you know we don’t get a trusting friend overnight and we don’t

[00:14:32] get them when we sit back and wait for somebody to reach out to us so one of

[00:14:38] the first things I say is find a good Bible teaching church and get to know

[00:14:43] people and how do you do that not by watching online not by just slipping in the back and then leaving but getting

[00:14:50] into a small group and you know some people say oh yeah small groups that was a thing of the ’90s oh no we need that

[00:14:56] so much a small group of Believers um even a high school youth group a college

[00:15:01] group um with other people that are very much like you we tend to think nobody

[00:15:07] understands nobody’s been through what I’ve been through but as we get around others we listen to their stories um we

[00:15:15] can then have the courage to share a little bit of ours because you know what there’s nothing new Under the Sun Ecclesiastes tells us and we can find

[00:15:22] our sameness in groups with other believers and realize there really are far more people than I thought who are

[00:15:29] very much like me in some ways or have had very similar things happen to them

[00:15:34] and and that’s how we start that connection and as you build a friendship as we expose more of ourselves as we’re

[00:15:41] around others that we then begin we feel we can trust then we can take that next

[00:15:46] step I think it starts with trusting God and realizing that as I reach out God’s got my back um there will always be

[00:15:54] differences there will always be offenses among people because people offend us and we offend others that’s

[00:16:00] just who we are and what we do but as we begin to extend Grace and begin to trust

[00:16:07] God with what he does through those differences and misunderstandings we can

[00:16:13] grow in a friendship and come out stronger uh than we were before if we

[00:16:19] work through those things and take them to God and have him help us work through those I think that’s one of the amazing

[00:16:24] things about the Christian Community and the church which obviously Christ set up for this very purpose uh is that there’s

[00:16:32] a camaraderie in knowing Christ uh that I can travel around the world and as soon as I meet somebody who loves Jesus

[00:16:39] we have an instant connection and that takes away a lot of the loneliness that might otherwise exist um and you know

[00:16:47] another thing you know I as a educator I I teach 12th grade students and I’m I’m connecting with parents a lot and um one

[00:16:55] of the things I’ve noticed is that a lot of parents um actually seem to lose some of their friendships

[00:17:01] because they’re they’re working so hard um with their children right and so

[00:17:07] sometimes it seems like they cut off other relationships that they could be building um what kind of advice would

[00:17:13] you give to to somebody is that a common thing that people lose friendships as they’re investing in their family um yes

[00:17:20] I’ve I’ve written a lot to to parents who maybe we want to be spending time

[00:17:25] with our kids that is our single most important Ministry but when we pour our life into them and

[00:17:31] we aren’t around other parents to learn from them to sharpen us to take our

[00:17:37] griefs to them I my daughter had some friends who their moms were so attached

[00:17:43] to them just couldn’t bear to have them go off to college mom would call them up please come home mom would bear their

[00:17:49] soul to them and you know our kids as they grow up they want their own friends and they really want Mom and Dad to have

[00:17:56] friends and we need other again finding our sameness and you know I’ve got a

[00:18:02] chapter on the loneliness of business sometimes we say well I’m just so busy everybody else is busy yeah we can’t be

[00:18:09] too busy to where we don’t have friends we can’t afford that um those relationships are important I I heard

[00:18:15] somebody mentioning that same thing that you just brought up which was that um in American culture uh you know it’s it’s a

[00:18:22] very driven culture to an extent there’s a lot to do um that you can ENT Ain

[00:18:29] yourself with there’s also a lot to buy there’s a lot that you can buy and so what happens is is people work harder

[00:18:35] and harder and harder to achieve more and more things um and and do you think

[00:18:41] that that is part of the quote new loneliness the the epidemic that we’re seeing is that a part of the problem

[00:18:48] that that can be a big part of it um that emptiness we feel when we have all this stuff but we have no relationships

[00:18:54] in our lives or I gave my kids everything but my kids don’t want to be around me um another another component

[00:19:02] of that is uh we mentioned social media uh earlier that sense of inadequacy as

[00:19:08] we see what other people have that sense of competition and comparison I know women are really good at this we’re very

[00:19:15] self-critical we’re very critical of others and we can tend to get very jealous so as we scroll through and see

[00:19:21] everybody else’s highlight reels again we find ourselves saying well what do I have or I’m missing out or I wasn’t

[00:19:27] invited um another thing that goes back to knowing who we are in God uh knowing who

[00:19:34] we are in Christ knowing our value in him um knowing what our real prize is

[00:19:40] and it’s not in having to get affirmation from other people my uh guest this evening is Cindy

[00:19:48] McManaman and she is the author author of a new book the new loneliness and um

[00:19:54] very likely you’ve experienced loneliness at some point in your life um if not currently going through it it’s

[00:20:00] something that the Surgeon General has said is an epidemic her website is strength forthes soul.com if you’re

[00:20:06] interested you can go and get more help and encouragement from her there she’s written 17 books and you can find her

[00:20:13] latest book on amazon.com if you’d like to check it out there um so Cindy also

[00:20:20] um you know another thing that happens a lot and this has happened in my own life

[00:20:26] is people that I was friends with for a very long time um they either move away

[00:20:31] or there’s something shatters in the Friendship something happened where uh

[00:20:38] it was a conflict that almost seemed irreconcilable and uh that that

[00:20:43] friendship diminishes um can you speak to that a little bit if somebody’s going through that sort of a thing how they

[00:20:49] how they walk through that and then how how they um move on and recover from that yes I’ve got a chapter called the

[00:20:55] loneliness of friendship struggles because they’re real and sometimes being hurt or having a

[00:21:01] misunderstanding an accusation sometimes it’s something stupid um sometimes it’s

[00:21:06] just season of life and we can feel that rejection and that that is very real and

[00:21:12] it also can make us think I don’t want to extend anymore I don’t want any more friends because it it hurts too much to

[00:21:18] lose them so I I I talk in my book I I share some examples of um some

[00:21:24] situations where I had that I had in which I thought I lost a friend and I was devastated and immediately I began

[00:21:33] uh to do that self- condemnation I’m a horrible friend who would want to be friends with me anyway and then I did

[00:21:39] that isolation route well that’s it I’m done with friends I’ve got God and I’m

[00:21:45] good and I don’t need anybody else and that’s a lie and so um in those

[00:21:50] situations that I’ve had a situation like that I’ve I’ve taken that to God and said God show me in this

[00:21:56] misunderstanding show me in this accusation show me in this situation what I might have done to contribute to

[00:22:02] this or um if it was just something that I couldn’t do anything about Lord help me to learn through this and give me the

[00:22:09] strength to either do what I need to do to make this right um or to extend Grace

[00:22:16] toward this person as you have extended Grace toward me or to have the courage

[00:22:21] to begin again with another friend and I’ve been through each of those situations again in the situation where

[00:22:28] I brought it to God and at one point um I realized more words from me was not

[00:22:34] making it better and I had I’m being a you know being a verbal Communicator I had to back off and say Lord she she has

[00:22:42] your indwelling Holy Spirit she prays she listens to you too would you be our mediator and would you speak to her and

[00:22:49] sure enough a few days later he softened her heart and she called me and she said let’s talk I was convinced that’s

[00:22:56] something sometimes that only God can do but as we pray about that God knows about it anyway but he so cares about

[00:23:03] our hearts and Psalm 628 says trust in the Lord at all times pour out your

[00:23:08] heart before him God is a refuge for us as we let him know um what to do and we

[00:23:15] wait upon him in prayer and then again do what we can extend as we can forgive

[00:23:21] as we can that God takes care of that or he brings somebody else around us for a

[00:23:26] new season of life and a new season of friendship that’s encouraging it’s it’s

[00:23:31] amazing to me because really the the character traits that God is developing in us as um he walks with us and teaches

[00:23:39] us and grows us um are really a lot of traits that lead to uh connection they

[00:23:47] they Bridge pain in relationships and they um get us through those tough times

[00:23:53] where we feel like hey this isn’t something that could be reconciled and yet we can see the example of Christ

[00:23:59] again and again and again um showing us how we can reconcile even though there

[00:24:05] are painful experiences we go through yes in Philippians 2 2 and 3 if every

[00:24:11] believer put their friendships their misunderstandings their difficulties the church battles everything through that

[00:24:17] grid there would be no unforgiveness no falling out no lack of reconciliation

[00:24:22] Philippians 2 2 and 3 and I include these steps in my book in a section called preserving the unity of just

[00:24:28] being of the same mind uh maintaining the same love being united in spirit but

[00:24:34] and intent on one purpose you know what a novel concept we have to do this in

[00:24:39] marriage we have to do this in our relationships to be able to take this to God and say God make me of one mind one

[00:24:46] Spirit intent on the same purpose and that is to glorify you amen um again uh

[00:24:53] strength for uh your soul strength for your sorry strength forth soul.com

[00:24:58] is uh Cindy’s website if you would like help with that um and looking at that book um so as far as the new loneliness

[00:25:07] is concerned and um what is it that you’re hoping that people obviously you’re hoping that people build

[00:25:13] connections that they’re able to overcome these things um tell us a little bit more about the book and why you felt it was so necessary um to write

[00:25:21] it at this time I know you wrote the book when women walk alone and um when a

[00:25:26] woman overcomes life’s hurts you’re speaking is this book strictly for women

[00:25:31] also or is this a more broad book meant to reach uh both men and women you I write primarily to women but already I’m

[00:25:37] hearing some women share some things with their husband that they might learn about and uh one of the things I did

[00:25:43] right off the start is in the back of the book I have a uh self assessment test called how lone how lonely are you

[00:25:52] um I and in the introduction I actually take you to that self assessment test

[00:25:57] have you fill that out and then come back to that place in the introduction to see uh in looking at how you scored

[00:26:04] how this book can help you and I’ve had several women tell me already I started reading this book for somebody else that

[00:26:10] I could help because I’m not lonely but I realized they said when I was going through those statements and uh

[00:26:17] answering yes or no just reading them and responding made me realize how many

[00:26:22] screens I have in my life more than people or um how much

[00:26:29] the self- condemnation in my own life and fear is keeping me from reaching out

[00:26:34] or realizing how busy I am and I don’t have friends and so a lot of them have said at that point I I started reading

[00:26:41] the book for me but I still plan to help somebody else and so I wanted people to be aware of this problem because it is

[00:26:48] so very subtle um it is in our culture and will’ll be swept away with it if we

[00:26:54] aren’t aware of um of the need to reconnect with God and

[00:27:00] then also to look at what’s going on in our heart what are some of those hurts

[00:27:05] that are keeping me from developing or maintaining relationships or what what’s

[00:27:11] keeping me from reaching out what’s keeping me from from being a good friend or from just wanting to have friends and

[00:27:20] then you know practical steps for how to uh be among others and you know um I

[00:27:27] really like what you’re saying there because um it is something that’s so subtle it’s not something that’s it’s

[00:27:32] it’s a it’s a gradual Fade to loneliness almost um to an extent what would you

[00:27:38] say are some of the red flags I mean I I know it’s in the book but what are some of the significant red flags that people

[00:27:44] should should watch out for to go oh boy uh I I better I better be careful here

[00:27:50] I’m I’m not in a good place well for instance that’s where some of these statements are I think a lot of these

[00:27:56] are uh red flags um I could spend more time with God and others if I weren’t so busy busyness leads to isolation and

[00:28:04] loneliness um I often question my value and self-worth if we’re doing that um it

[00:28:10] might only not make other people want to be around us it could be pushing people away I how does that H how does that

[00:28:17] push people away questioning your own self-worth um I think um maybe it goes

[00:28:23] further to um nobody wants to be around me maybe in a in a victim mentality um

[00:28:30] in several places in the book I encourage people reach out start pouring into somebody else because one of the

[00:28:35] things it does is it puts our s on the Shelf when we start thinking of others

[00:28:41] instantly we become the kind of friend other people want to be around oh that’s great advice that is great advice yeah

[00:28:48] so um yeah other red flags are maybe just you know being aware you know one

[00:28:55] of the things I suggest is using that um screen time monitoring uh function on

[00:29:01] your phone be aware of how often you’re on your phone or in front of your phone

[00:29:07] and be aware of um am I on my phone in the presence of others because um I can’t tell you how

[00:29:16] many times I’ve been with somebody at lunch hadn’t seen them in a while constant Interruption from calls they

[00:29:21] took and we didn’t do that when there was a home phone we just let it go to the Busy Signal well we have voicemail

[00:29:27] but nobody checks voicemail right oh got to check this text message got to respond what that says to the person in

[00:29:34] front of you is you’re not as important as this person who just interrupted you and I’m gonna you know and wow it can be

[00:29:40] addictive and there are certain studies of the anxiety and how the blood pressure goes up when

[00:29:47] somebody loses their phone or even turns it off yeah or sets it in the other room

[00:29:52] oh we need to be aware of that um and get back into that mode of seizing the

[00:29:59] day to be in front of a face when I can talk to that person do you have advice

[00:30:04] for parents who are struggling with this because this is um this is a difficulty for a lot of parents and even in our

[00:30:11] school we’ve been wrestling with and I know many schools are wrestling with they’re they’re actually you know

[00:30:16] locking phones down some schools I I are Banning phones Al together um do you

[00:30:22] have any guidelines or uh General uh

[00:30:28] good practices when it comes to parents and you know their kids on the phones

[00:30:33] and how they can better manage that my good friend Arlene Pelican who’s written

[00:30:40] a lot about screens and stuff she’s helped me a lot with this too just as uh my daughter was growing up and I one of

[00:30:47] the the rules we always had is no phones at the dinner table that’s the time to connect with family nope we’re watch

[00:30:53] watching a movie together as a family how about you just put your phone in the other room having to have limits on that

[00:30:59] it is not an appendage um just um if it’s if

[00:31:05] someone’s going to go to work one day they need to go without the phone or have the phone turned off they need to be able to know how to do that um

[00:31:13] another thing um and I think this is something we can model to our kids let’s start Consulting God more than Google

[00:31:20] because it used to be when something was really on our hearts what’ we do we’d sit down and pray and teach our kids to

[00:31:25] pray what do we do we search for the answers and we’re letting artificial intelligence tell us what to

[00:31:31] do when just the very Act of going to God In Prayer brings what peace and not

[00:31:37] panic wow that’s really good well there is no um I mean this is something that’s

[00:31:44] a dire need for everybody um if you like what you’re hearing here strength

[00:31:49] forthes soul.com I can’t I can’t imagine there’s anybody that’s not wrestling with these issues from in one degree to

[00:31:55] another and um mcmanaman’s uh website I just shared that with you and um is

[00:32:02] there other ways that they can connect with you Cindy um people who uh PE do

[00:32:09] you I know um you mentioned coaching and so forth do you do that sort of thing to help people you coach women writers

[00:32:14] women non-fiction writers I can also connect them with fiction writers but that’s really my specialty so I have

[00:32:20] coaching Services I also speak um across the country for women’s conferences um

[00:32:26] they can also connect with me on Facebook and Instagram at strength for the soul that’s wonderful well I really

[00:32:33] appreciate your time with us this evening this is a huge blessing and um again you can get her book on Amazon and

[00:32:41] uh this is something we all have to tackle it’s not something we can just let let go by and I just really encourage those of you who are listening

[00:32:48] um really to move on this I know in my own family I have three kids and it is a

[00:32:53] constant battle it’s something that you sometimes you want to let go of and you want to just kind of throw up your hands

[00:32:59] but it’s a fight uh that’s worth you know finishing it’s it’s something you want to really um work with your kids on

[00:33:05] I can’t I I just feel like it’s so critically important in this day and age so um again thank you Cindy for the your

[00:33:12] time and it’s a huge blessing your ministry is awesome so my website is educate forlife.org and I have all kinds

[00:33:20] of resources there also to be able to strengthen your faith and if you have questions about God and how we know the

[00:33:26] Bible’s reliable or how to study the Bible those things those are available on my website love for you to check that

[00:33:33] out and we’ll be back again next week with another uh fantastic guests and we have all kinds of very exciting shows

[00:33:39] coming up so thanks for being here this evening and look forward to being with you again uh next week God bless you

[00:33:45] have a great night when you need tires or service count on Conover tires wheels

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[00:35:18] Jason Hall president of Team Home Loans a branch of synergy1 lending I just want to take this opportunity to thank Kevin

[00:35:25] Conover for the profound impact he’s had on mine and my wife’s spiritual life as well as being an incredible teacher

[00:35:31] while our kids were his students his knowledge and passion have taught us all how important it is to be Defenders of

[00:35:36] our faith it’s our honor and privilege to support Kevin and his show it is our sincere hope and prayer that you will

[00:35:42] continue to learn to be Defenders of your faith through Kevin’s radio show and through his educate for Life

[00:35:47] teachings thank you Kevin from the hall family and team home loans