The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health with Kenza Haddock

[00:00:00] thanks for being here this evening my name is Kevin Conover and I’m your ho host on educate for Life radio we’re

[00:00:05] broadcasting down here in Southern California on kpra 1210 a.m. uh San

[00:00:10] Diego’s largest Christian radio station we’re also on FM 106.1 in North County and then of course we’re podcast all

[00:00:17] over the place we’re on Spotify and every other place you can find a podcast and on YouTube My website’s educate

[00:00:23] forlife.org and we have guests from all over the world who have had Christ

[00:00:28] impact their lives and then they’re they share that and then they talk about how God is continuing to use them to impact

[00:00:35] the lives of those around them and my guest this evening is covering a really big issue an issue that so many people

[00:00:41] are dealing with um in our culture today and really around the world um there there is a rise in depression there’s a

[00:00:47] rise in mental health issues and people point to all different kinds of things that are causing this um of course a lot

[00:00:54] of people say hey it’s the rise of the use of social media it’s PE people being obsessed with their phones

[00:01:00] um we have kids using their phones 247 there are incredible amounts of hours on their phones and then there’s other

[00:01:07] issues too like the breakdown of the family culture has uh put so many pressures on people we have this whole

[00:01:14] comparison thing going on on social media there’s so many issues that we’re dealing with and my guest uh this

[00:01:20] evening is kenah hatak and she is an expert in this area she’s a licensed

[00:01:26] professional counselor she’s a supervisor and accredited clinical trauma specialist in treating complex

[00:01:33] mental health conditions through clinical and biblical method she’s a former Muslim also she speaks at

[00:01:38] conferences all over the place and she recently wrote a book The Three enemies of your mental health Kenza thanks a lot

[00:01:45] for being on the program today thank you so much for having me I’m excited yeah absolutely I mean um your book is

[00:01:52] incredibly timely uh so important and you know a lot of people speak out of

[00:01:57] what they’ve gone through what their EXP experiences have been uh can you give us a little bit of background what caused

[00:02:04] you to focus on this area of helping people and then ultimately why did you

[00:02:09] decide to write your book um addressing these issues so we would have to go a little bit

[00:02:16] back um to how I grew up which you briefly mentioned I grew up in an

[00:02:22] Islamic household and so for the first I would say I mean I I gave my life to

[00:02:29] Jesus at age 24 so for the first 23 years of my life I believed that I was

[00:02:35] here for a certain amount of time and that during my time here my goal was to earn salvation see I believed that I

[00:02:42] could earn salvation and I believe that the god I worshiped was the same God as

[00:02:48] the god of Christianity um but obviously now I know he’s not um the god I woried was more so

[00:02:55] like a spiritual pharaoh and so he set this high standard

[00:03:00] and I felt like for years that I would take five steps forward just to get

[00:03:05] Knock 10 steps back because it was just very works-based and being just my

[00:03:13] personality period I like to achieve so much that worked against me and so that

[00:03:19] just fed into so much anxiety because I felt like I needed to pray five times a

[00:03:25] day but I knew I was a sinner so I would pray seven times a day it’s like it was like balancing a checkbook

[00:03:30] I would but then I would end up just falling into into sin and it just it

[00:03:35] wasn’t working and so thankfully God by his sovereignty was calling me to him

[00:03:42] during that time even when I was Muslim I started having dreams and uh one of

[00:03:47] the dreams I had I didn’t catch on it was I would fall asleep and I would hear

[00:03:54] the phone ringing really loud like you know those 80s phones not phones that we have nowadays ring so loud and someone

[00:04:02] would say in my dream Kenza your father is calling you and I’d wake up and but I

[00:04:08] wasn’t catching on because as a Muslim you don’t see God as father that’s that’s blasphemy for Muslims and so I’d

[00:04:14] go to sleep the next night same thing over and over but I didn’t catch on and so I still struggled with anxiety still

[00:04:22] struggled with depression and because Islam doesn’t offer any hope for salvation either there is no Assurance

[00:04:29] of salvation it’s just you hope for the best when you die hopefully you go to heaven I mean

[00:04:35] that’s what they believe and so that in itself can really make somebody anxious

[00:04:41] and have panic attacks and and things were happening in my family as well and

[00:04:46] so one night I had this dream that just I mean it just changed my life and in my

[00:04:54] dream it was the end times and I looked outside of the window and in my dream I

[00:05:00] saw heaven I saw the sky open and I saw a man in a white robe descending from

[00:05:06] the sky and in my dream Kevin I knew that this man was Jesus I just knew and

[00:05:15] for just that that moment all of my anxiety FL I mean it just vanished

[00:05:23] anxiety up until that moment was my Norm I thought that was just how everyone felt and all of a sudden I felt this

[00:05:29] peace that made no sense to me I mean and he’s the prince of peace now I know that yeah yeah I didn’t know that then I

[00:05:37] just knew that there was something about him this and I just kept looking at him and as he was approaching me I woke up

[00:05:43] and now I wish I could tell you I woke up and gave my life to Jesus and everything was great but that’s not how

[00:05:49] it went I for a Muslim to give their lives to Jesus is a big deal and so it

[00:05:55] took about 8 to 10 months for me to make that transition and and during that time

[00:06:01] I felt like I was going to go from one mean God to another one and so I decided

[00:06:08] to blaze my own trail which I mean I and I mentioned that part in the book um I

[00:06:15] decided to blaze my own trail so I dove into New Age methods I dove into astrology I dove into uh riy

[00:06:24] chakras anything that would make me or give me this this sense of control over

[00:06:29] my life because looking back I just didn’t want to go from one bad Master to

[00:06:35] another I was too scared so I was like maybe I can make my own my own destiny

[00:06:40] and none of those Avenues brought me the peace that I felt when I saw Jesus in my

[00:06:48] dream none of them I mean I tried everything I could think of if if I

[00:06:54] didn’t try it it’s because I didn’t know about it back then yeah and so one thing I came to to a dead end and and I

[00:07:02] decided okay enough is enough I have to make a decision and just like you know

[00:07:08] Joshua Once Upon a Time said if if you know B is your God then then so be it

[00:07:13] but if Yahweh is your God then then you have to choose one of one of the two we

[00:07:19] can’t you can’t have both of them and so I made the decision to give my life to

[00:07:24] Jesus and for me it meant I had to leave my mother father brothers sisters I mean

[00:07:31] everything I had ever known and just start my life from scratch and get to

[00:07:37] know who I was as a Believer and that in itself brought on you know all sorts of

[00:07:46] anxiety um because it’s one thing to be in stuck in bondage but now I was free

[00:07:51] but I didn’t know what to do with my freedom it was like it was scary yeah

[00:07:57] there’s nobody there’s nobody telling me what to do yeah yeah and I needed to get to know God I mean God and and who he is

[00:08:06] and and just get to and invest time in in scripture and so thankfully the Lord

[00:08:11] brought people into my life who showed me you know which Bible to get and I started going to church and so a few

[00:08:19] months into my walk with the Lord he called me into the field of counseling I felt the holy spirit for the first time

[00:08:26] because obviously when you’re not a Believer you don’t feel the you’re just you know led by your own sensual nature I mean I was yeah yeah I felt the holy

[00:08:33] spirit for the first time and I felt this strong call to go into the field of counseling but in my own flesh I’m like

[00:08:41] I grew up in such a dysfunction I should not I I’m the last person who needs to go this like no certainly not me yeah I

[00:08:51] remember I went to my pastor and I was like I keep feeling like God wants me to

[00:08:57] go back to school for counseling but I don’t know if it’s God because it’s certainly not my idea and so he he and

[00:09:04] his group prayed over me and I mean the prompting just wouldn’t go away and so I went back to school on faith and um yeah

[00:09:13] the Lord just blessed it and so I went back to school finished my clinicals and

[00:09:18] so I started treating people both from a Biblical perspective and a clinical perspective and as I was treating people

[00:09:25] I noticed a pattern in my patience in my Christian patients those who struggled with the

[00:09:33] top three mental health diagnosis plague in our nation right now which are clinical anxiety clinical depression and

[00:09:39] and the third one keeps fluctuating which is mood fluctuation it’s when we feel like our moods are up and down

[00:09:46] throughout the day all of these three 90 I mean most most cases had to do with

[00:09:53] the top three enemies of our mental health which I bring up in the book and

[00:09:58] so when I have someone who comes to see me in the practice I go through one

[00:10:04] enemy after another because barring a chemical imbalance and and I’m saying I

[00:10:10] want to preface with this I’m not against medication I’m not I understand that we live in a fallen world and I

[00:10:16] understand there are cases where there’s a chemical imbalance the people I have

[00:10:21] seen the Bible says my people fail for lack of knowledge a lot of times the

[00:10:27] issues have to do with things that we have either experienced or have done

[00:10:33] that we don’t understand out of process yeah you know uh that’s an amazing

[00:10:38] testimony you have and um I had a couple questions that was very interesting now did you grow up in

[00:10:45] the States you did yeah so I moved to the states when I was 12 okay and so um

[00:10:52] you’re growing up in a Muslim family and um the Visions you had are pretty amazing uh it’s interesting because I

[00:10:58] had another gentleman quite a while ago I had a a former Muslim on my show who his name is Daniel Messiah uh he changed

[00:11:05] his name after he became a Christian but um he had Visions too he had a very very

[00:11:11] uh incredibly Vivid uh Vision that really uh was amazing and it actually sounds very similar to yours in a lot of

[00:11:17] ways because um he talks about how God was referencing him as his child and him

[00:11:24] as the as father and um that seems it’s interesting that you both have that similar

[00:11:29] experience um and then you were saying that you know you’re trying to earn your

[00:11:35] way to heaven and that’s a lot of pressure I’ve heard that this is very common among um a variety of religious

[00:11:42] viewpoints like Jehovah’s Witness and uh even Mormonism um that there’s this

[00:11:47] constant attempt to be really really really moral and um that it just becomes

[00:11:54] this crazy burden that it just weighs people down and um would you say uh you

[00:12:00] you know and in Christ we’re free that the Bible says we’re freed from the law we are not saved by works um we’re saved

[00:12:06] by grace through faith in Christ and so uh would you say that a lot of the

[00:12:11] people that are coming to you um have these expectations uh for themselves or

[00:12:17] something that they’ve kind of grabbed hold of and placed on their own shoulders that is causing this kind of

[00:12:23] pressure is that a common thing that you see in your practice oh absolutely absolutely they hold an idea of God that

[00:12:31] is not the biblical god um and that’s whether they’re religious or they’re not

[00:12:37] religious a lot of times yes yes um so if they are

[00:12:43] straightforward against um Christianity um I’ve had someone who

[00:12:49] came in they saw my degree from Liberty and straight up just walked out um

[00:12:54] because they just didn’t want to hear about God um and and will they assume

[00:13:00] that I would even bring God up I mean that was just an assumption and and they just walked out and so that told me that

[00:13:07] they have such a Negative view of God I mean they just I mean bolstered right out I have had people who they took

[00:13:15] their perspective of how God is or who God is from um their previous authority

[00:13:21] figures and so because our brain works out of a frame of reference I mean that’s how our brain is designed to work

[00:13:28] and so if I grow up with a parent who is distant or demanding for example I’m

[00:13:35] going to automatically see God that way unless unless I break that pattern by

[00:13:42] spending time with God myself and getting to know him on my own but for

[00:13:47] most people they don’t have um they haven’t invested that time with him and

[00:13:54] so they’re just going by the frame of reference that was either shown to them or have seen or heard about in the

[00:14:00] church and so they just they just go right then and and I mean that’s how we

[00:14:06] fall right into the Trap of of Satan right he wants us to to go right I mean

[00:14:13] he wants us to hide from God he wants us to run as far as possible from God and

[00:14:18] so he presents to us this this picture of God that that’s not that’s not true

[00:14:25] yeah like you were saying you didn’t want to go from one uh you know person that had authority over your life that

[00:14:31] was that was painful to another one and that was your perceived understanding of

[00:14:36] God I I found that to be the case a lot too is that a lot of people have a perception of God and they reject him uh

[00:14:43] not because they’ve rejected the god that is but that they’ve rejected the god that that they’ve made in their mind

[00:14:50] oh absolutely absolutely and they won’t they won’t take the time to spend time

[00:14:56] with him either they will not invest time to just get to know him which is a

[00:15:01] huge part that’s the thing we have to get to know God in order for our frame

[00:15:07] of reference to change in order for our brain literally even from a clinical perspective in order for our brain to

[00:15:13] fire off new neuro networks to to attach

[00:15:18] this thought and this meaning to God we have to get to know him and we do that

[00:15:23] by just reading his word and what I found for me for just for me personally

[00:15:29] I don’t know if I have it here but uh yeah I do um it this helped me so much

[00:15:36] reading the Bible chronologically um and and that helped me a lot because I needed to learn about

[00:15:45] the character of God and I needed to understand that yes God is not a man that he should lie right nor this kind a

[00:15:51] man that he should repent so I needed to understand that and I needed to drill that into my head and into my heart and

[00:15:59] just like David says to forgot to teach us his word so that we don’t sin against him so I needed to just get to know God

[00:16:07] from beginning to end from Genesis to Revelation and read about his character and see how he how he responds to

[00:16:14] certain situations and and just see that he is a good god and the only way to know that is is by spending time with

[00:16:21] them there’s no way around it yeah uh for those of you just tuning in my guest uh this evening is kenah hatak you can

[00:16:28] visit her at Ken enah had.com that’s h a d o c k and uh she has a 15 episode

[00:16:35] mental health series on YouTube if you want to check it out um where you can get a lot of your questions answered and

[00:16:40] she has a book The Three enemies of your mental health and um Kenza you you

[00:16:45] mentioned in the description of the book here that those enemies are the flesh the enemy and the world and um you also

[00:16:53] address that this this affects you both physically and mentally um and so uh how

[00:16:59] how does some of these things play out physically how does your mental state of mind affect your physical uh body well

[00:17:07] it’s psychosomatic I mean if if I’m anxious then my cortisol levels are

[00:17:12] going to increase and so then I’m going to start getting a stomach ache some people with unprocessed emotions I mean

[00:17:20] if if you’re raised in a household for example where you’re supposed to just sweep everything under the rug no wonder

[00:17:26] why you may have ulcers no wonder why you may have uh panic attacks on just a

[00:17:32] regular Tuesday afternoon I’ve had patients who would come up to me and say hey I just started getting panic attacks

[00:17:39] out of nowhere my life is okay my life is fine and that goes back to unhealed

[00:17:45] wounds that that we just never process through because we’re so good at

[00:17:51] repressing our emotions and and so that’s something that I that I tackle in

[00:17:57] the book it’s the different defense mechanisms that we that we wear it’s

[00:18:03] like defense different masks that we wear throughout our lifetime and God is

[00:18:08] wanting so badly for us to take these masks off and to heal us because it I

[00:18:14] mean it takes it takes a lot of energy to repress your emotions yes you know um one of the

[00:18:21] things also that kind of popped up that’s really interesting about what you said is that you know you made a

[00:18:26] decision um to become a Christian and yet you were in uh a Muslim family

[00:18:32] Muslim culture growing up and a lot of people might look at that and go gosh it

[00:18:37] seems like you would actually increase your mental health problems by having to deal with all the trauma that comes from

[00:18:44] such a gigantic change in your your life I mean

[00:18:49] um how did you get through that how did you you know uh how did you deal with

[00:18:54] that that had to be very stressful um and was it worth it I guess is the

[00:19:00] question too because I think a lot of people what is that uh you know we get into a comfortable rut and it’s like I

[00:19:09] I’d rather stay here than try to change and then I have to deal with so many other problems what would you say to the

[00:19:15] person that says I’m afraid to take those chances to change even if you know it might be better for me I think the

[00:19:21] the pain of changing might be too difficult for me I would say to that so someone who

[00:19:28] made makes that statement um that’s an indicator that the pain has become

[00:19:33] intertwined with their self-image and identity and that’s just not who you are it actually takes more energy to keep

[00:19:41] yourself there than it would take for you to surrender and allow God to just

[00:19:48] start peeling the layers because really God is the one who does all the work he really is and to to address the the

[00:19:56] question or the statement you made ear it did it was it was difficult to leave

[00:20:02] it was in I felt anxious from the perspective of I knew I was going to be

[00:20:08] persecuted by my Muslim family which I I was um however sense how were you how

[00:20:15] were you persecuted they so they came after me um

[00:20:21] quite a few times so years after I gave my life to Jesus um I had gotten married

[00:20:28] and my husband and I were in our new home and they found us and they tried to

[00:20:34] open our windows or our I mean they tracked us down because their perspective is they have to convert you

[00:20:41] back to Islam um because according to the Quran and Sharia law they if they

[00:20:46] lose someone then their everlasting life is in Jeopardy so they have to convert that person back oh I was not aware of

[00:20:53] that I did not know that yes it’s so it it’s very prescriptive the Quran it says

[00:20:59] to bring that person back amicably the first time if they don’t want to come amicably then do it by force up to death

[00:21:07] um and so in order for them to please Allah and so I understood those

[00:21:12] consequences but what’s really um so what’s really interesting is the first

[00:21:19] time they came after me it was about I would say I was still a fresh a a fresh

[00:21:24] new believer I wasn’t mean maybe a year and a half maybe two years and to my faith in Jesus and so the first thought

[00:21:32] that came to mind as they were it wasn’t knocking it was like banging on the door trying to open our windows from the back

[00:21:38] um wow so the first time I HD under a desk and I didn’t know enough bible

[00:21:44] verses to pray I was just like you know every time slowed down I’m like I’m gonna die here this is this is the end

[00:21:50] and but the first thing came to mind was what did I do wrong for God to cause

[00:21:55] this you see I went back to the old mind oh yeah I had about God I went back to I

[00:22:02] did something in and God is punishing me for that’s why he’s he’s allowing this to happen and let me tell you I’ll stop

[00:22:09] right there that’s where so many people live also many Believers live there I

[00:22:15] see yeah I’ve heard me I’ve heard many Christians actually say that they’ve asked me that exact question yes so many

[00:22:22] live there it’s like I it’s like a karmic view of God and that’s he doesn’t

[00:22:27] God doesn’t operate with karma that’s not how that’s not how he works no and

[00:22:33] so thank God now looking back thank God he allowed for that to happen because

[00:22:39] over the years as they as they have come and they’ve harassed us and we had to

[00:22:44] call the police and do a new no contact especially after we had children um so I

[00:22:51] started realizing that I started seeing the faithfulness of God through it and

[00:22:58] started realizing that you know what God knows when they leave their home hours

[00:23:04] away to come on their way to come you know harass us he’s right there because he’s omnipresent right I mean how do you

[00:23:11] get so draw so close to God if you don’t go through trials I mean let’s just be real we don’t we don’t ever want to sign

[00:23:18] up for trials obviously but how do you draw so close to God if if you’re just comfortable all the time I mean we I’m

[00:23:25] I’m saying that and I know it sounds awful but we as human beings are so prone to fall into the law of

[00:23:33] familiarity we are just like so comfortable and you know God is just my genie in a bottle and I’ll just you know

[00:23:39] he’s just here for for for me no he’s yeah 100% he’s not yeah I always thought it

[00:23:45] was so I always thought it was so telling how after 911 happened um they said the churches in New York were

[00:23:51] completely full you know standing room only people waiting outside and it’s really true you know we pray like Lord I

[00:23:58] don’t want to have to go through that before I decide um you know to get right with you um and and yet that does seem

[00:24:05] to be in a lot of a lot of ways The Human Condition is um that we wait till the last minute before we finally go

[00:24:11] okay God okay God you know Uncle um and and of course one of my

[00:24:17] favorite verses is Ezekiel 3311 where he says I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked but rather that they would

[00:24:22] repent and live and um i’ I’ve always thought uh you know that’s the heart of

[00:24:27] God is is mercy and Grace and he’s a father he cares about us um but there’s

[00:24:32] also the verses that you know in Proverbs where it says uh he who does not discipline his child is a willing party to his death and uh it’s a very um

[00:24:42] you know important statement that that just like we have to watch over our kids and protect them from themselves um God

[00:24:49] has to very frequently do the same with us absolutely absolutely really and you know it helps

[00:24:57] me going through those trials helped me so much in understanding the character

[00:25:03] of God and understanding not only understanding his sovereignty seeing that you know what he is Sovereign oh

[00:25:10] and he’s omnipresent he’s literally right there and he’s the one who frustrates their plans every time

[00:25:17] they’ve come they have not been able to get a hold of me they just haven’t been able to and that’s because everything

[00:25:27] God has to allow everything to happen and so if they were to get a hold of me

[00:25:32] that’s because God allowed it and if he allows it that means he plans to use it for his glory somehow and so I had to

[00:25:39] make peace with that and understand that I serve a good God I serve a sovereign

[00:25:45] God and you know what listen going from living as a Muslim where you’re serving

[00:25:51] a spiritual pharaoh who only cares about what you do for him and he wants you to go to death for for him and he’s not

[00:25:59] going to give you anything to serving a God who went to the cross for you on

[00:26:04] your behalf so that you can have eternal life with him what’s the worst thing that can happen to me die go to heaven

[00:26:14] yeah yeah yeah so that’s that’s such a powerful statement there too you know um

[00:26:19] it’s interesting because it applies to a much larger degree also in the sense

[00:26:25] that whatever thoughts are holding us back from walking with God

[00:26:31] whatever um I mean in your book you said the three enemies are the flesh the

[00:26:38] enemy Satan and the world and so whatever one of those three is holding us back from having that uh more

[00:26:46] intimate relationship with God um it is well worth the sacrifice of whatever

[00:26:52] that involves in order to be close to God and um your testimony um speaks to

[00:26:59] that uh that truth that you would rather be walking with God than and dealing

[00:27:05] with what you have to deal with rather than be back as a Muslim thinking the

[00:27:10] wrong thoughts about God that you had absolutely yeah and I mean there there

[00:27:15] are so many things God had to work out in my life right I mean that’s in that’s

[00:27:21] part of why I I wrote the book because I’ve I’ve struggled with each one of

[00:27:27] those enemies you know the the devil which one of the main ones that I’ve

[00:27:33] seen in my practice when it comes to the devil is what I call the Jesus plus

[00:27:38] method it’s like cafeteria Christianity and I’ve I’ve struggled with it myself and I had to to repent of it and that is

[00:27:45] when it’s like we trust God but we still want to keep a plan B just in case you

[00:27:51] know God falls through and so we trust God but I’m still checking my horoscope

[00:27:56] every morning just to see what day is going to look like right I trust God I’ve had people come see me on a Monday

[00:28:04] my patients and go see a medium on a Wednesday these are self professing Believers yeah and so like stuff like

[00:28:11] that or how about socially acceptable things nowadays sh go to a a med spa and

[00:28:18] they’ll offer you a chakra session and say oh you know this is just to get your energies align no that’s a practice of

[00:28:24] divination or maybe holy yoga there’s no such thing as holy yoga that’s like

[00:28:29] saying holy witchcraft yeah there’s no so we have to be very diligent because

[00:28:36] the enemy is Crafty yeah he can sneak in and he can he can get a a foothold in in a way that

[00:28:42] you didn’t expect to be able to happen and so you have to be very very careful about um like you said the world and and

[00:28:50] what’s going on in it uh so have you had any contact with have you been able to have any kind of a conversation with

[00:28:55] your family at all has anybody said why did you decide to do this and being curious at all no no no not at all no

[00:29:04] because I grew up believing that Christians were just a bunch of misled people I mean that’s that’s what I grew

[00:29:11] up believing and so um they probably think I’ve just lost my

[00:29:18] mind um my my thought do you have any other do you know anybody else

[00:29:25] personally who has a similar testimony to you regarding Islam I’ve heard that there are a lot of Muslims actually converting out of Islam to

[00:29:33] Christianity yes um there is a guy by the name of Muhammad faridi he

[00:29:39] interviewed me a little while back and he has a um his act his ministry is for

[00:29:46] ex-muslims and um yeah he said there is like a uh I mean there’s a slew of

[00:29:53] people who are having dreams and Visions um about Jesus and they’re converting

[00:30:00] from Islam to Christianity and I mean you know how it is overseas you know

[00:30:06] here in the states I’m protected by the law of the land thank God overseas you

[00:30:12] convert to Christianity and you’re in a Muslim country and you’re under Sharia law you’re gone yeah meing you know

[00:30:20] God’s God’s mercy and somehow protection you know yeah now um a lot of people are

[00:30:27] saying that there is a rise in mental health issues um I I was I saw um some

[00:30:32] somebody had a social media post they said uh yeah uh if you want to make money invest in mental health counseling

[00:30:40] for teens they said uh in the future it’s just becoming a bigger and bigger issue is that your thought also do you

[00:30:47] do you foresee um that what’s happening in the culture in the United States and maybe

[00:30:52] in other places in the world too that uh we should anticipate that this is going to become a bigger bigger need should

[00:30:58] churches should churches be prepared for this sort of thing what what are your thoughts on that yes absolutely because

[00:31:04] what I have seen and that’s a great question what I’ve seen is in the church

[00:31:10] some Churches not all some Churches fall into the category of seeing all mental health issues as strictly spiritual and

[00:31:17] I’m not saying obviously there is a spiritual component right but they give no credit to anything clinical and so

[00:31:24] that’s like saying Diabetes Type 1 is all spiritual to and there’s nothing

[00:31:29] clinical about it and you should just stop taking your insulin I mean yeah if someone told you that you wouldn’t do it

[00:31:35] and so there they both work hand in hand God created science and he and he works

[00:31:40] through science as well and there are spiritual components so I do believe that it’s it’s beneficial for pastors or

[00:31:48] ministers or churches to pay attention absolutely to pay attention to

[00:31:55] any any anybody in their congregation that’s that’s displaying any depression

[00:32:01] symptoms or even educate them on anxiety symptoms because there are so many people walking with high functioning

[00:32:08] depression because a lot of times we think depression is just when you’re crying in bed no that’s not what

[00:32:14] clinical depression is clinical depression is more like you’re losing

[00:32:19] your energy and you don’t want to do what you used to want to do anymore more

[00:32:25] days than not you know for over a period of two weeks you you sense you feel like

[00:32:30] uh you’re worthless you have this this sense of uh hopelessness and you just

[00:32:36] feel very depressed for at least two weeks and so if that’s not treated then

[00:32:42] that can lead to thoughts of suicidal ideations and so that’s where yeah we

[00:32:48] have to and why why is that on the rise in your estimation I would

[00:32:54] say so barring a chemical imbalance because I do believe that some people just have inherited lower serotonin

[00:33:02] levels and when we have a low low serotonin levels our brain can fire off

[00:33:08] the wrong uh neuron networks now barring that I do believe that a lot of times

[00:33:16] because people don’t know how to heat to God’s voice we don’t we don’t recognize God’s voice we’re listening to the enemy

[00:33:22] and the enemy doesn’t speak in the third person usually he speaks in the first person and so if you’re looking in the

[00:33:29] mirror and saying I’m ugly or saying I’m not good enough or saying I’m far behind

[00:33:34] where I need to be in life that’s not the voice of God God’s voice is not

[00:33:39] condemning not if you’re in Christ it says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus that’s why you

[00:33:46] have to be familiar with God’s word and see here’s the thing I’m not talking about words of affirmation here Kevin

[00:33:53] words of affirmation are just a bandid that we put right I’m talking about appropriating the word of God which

[00:33:59] according to Hebrews 4:12 says is sharper than a two-edged sword that pierces through bone and Marrow to the

[00:34:05] the vision of Soul and Spirit right so the word of God has the capacity to pierce through the enemy’s lies and

[00:34:12] expose them and uproot them and then we’re able to transform that lie and

[00:34:19] appropriate God’s truth and so instead of saying looking in the mirror if you hear the words I’m ugly you can combat

[00:34:26] using the same method Jesus used when he was tempted by the enemy he said it is

[00:34:32] written right he yeah he fought with the word of God so you can say I was made in the image of God I mean that’s according

[00:34:39] to Genesis 1 126 if you say I’m not good enough you can say it’s written I was

[00:34:44] chosen by God out of his love for me right and that alone is enough and so

[00:34:49] you can appropriate God’s word yes and I I mean that’s just so powerful um you know and it’s great that

[00:34:55] as a counselor that you that that’s your you know methodology um because really it is what changes everything um Romans

[00:35:03] 12 uh be transformed by the renewing of your mind then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is his good

[00:35:08] pleasing and perfect will and then there’s many scriptures that focus on meditating on God’s word and really

[00:35:14] replacing the like you said the words of affirmation really is is drawn from

[00:35:19] scripture meditate on God’s word which is words of affirmation um that’s what

[00:35:25] uh the Bible is he is for us not against us right and so just like you said and

[00:35:31] so as we we know the word of God um it changes the way we think and and

[00:35:37] primarily that’s what we’re dealing with right is um all of us every day I teach I teach high school students and you

[00:35:44] know this is a constant struggle for the the students is that is the mind is you know what is going through my mind what

[00:35:50] am I thinking about am I good enough comparing yourself to your peers um relationships that didn’t work out do

[00:35:56] they like me do they not like me who am I where am I going you know it’s just there’s so many mental struggles there

[00:36:04] um in your book though you you mentioned very specifically that uh there seems to be uh this seems to be affecting women

[00:36:11] age 40 to 55 uh very heavily um is there a reason that that demographic in

[00:36:17] particular is uh is facing you know a heavy amount of anxiety and and dealing

[00:36:23] with these kinds of issues so usually women at that age are dealing with what I

[00:36:31] refer to as a double whammy normally they’re either dealing with starting to

[00:36:36] send their kids off to college and taking care of elderly

[00:36:41] parents or their kids are getting ready to leave the nest while they’re taking

[00:36:46] care of their elderly parents and so they a lot of times women because women

[00:36:53] by Design are are nurturing and so sometimes they fall into they can fall

[00:36:58] into the category of people pleasing and not setting proper boundaries it’s like they’re driven by guilt so much and so

[00:37:06] we don’t know how to set proper boundaries and say you know what God is this from you is this something that you

[00:37:13] want me to do or am I just volunteering myself to do this because I want to feel valuable let’s just be real here because

[00:37:19] if I’m inserting myself in every single thing then is it because I want to to

[00:37:25] feel like I am I am am worthy so is this a lack of worth that I need to work out

[00:37:31] with you and take the time to work that out with the Lord that’s yeah that makes

[00:37:37] sense I mean that’s where that uh prayer in Psalm 139 comes in handy search me oh

[00:37:42] God know my heart test me and know my anxious thoughts it’s a prayer but it it works the Lord will will show you

[00:37:50] and and I mean he’s a personable God he will show you because he wants to heal you he does he doesn’t want you to be

[00:37:56] walking with a bunch of crutches he doesn’t absolutely my guest today is

[00:38:02] kenah hattic you can look at her book kenah hatch.com uh she’s got a new book

[00:38:07] that she’s recently written the three enemies of your mental health and I think it’s something that you know um

[00:38:12] Everybody uh can it’s valuable to everybody simply because uh I am guarantee if you’re not struggling with

[00:38:19] these sorts of issues you know somebody that is somebody in your family a young person and we all need to get a better

[00:38:25] grip on these issues so that we can lift others up and encourage others to be able to deal with this um what can those

[00:38:32] who who get a hold of your book what can they um look forward to as they’re

[00:38:37] studying it what have you specifically put in the book that is um going to help

[00:38:43] people going in a good direction yeah so some of it would be

[00:38:48] just how to process your emotions properly I think that’s something that I honestly wish we could put a class in

[00:38:57] and School in grade school or in high school it’s like how do you process your emotions because a lot of times when we

[00:39:03] don’t process our emotions we become led by them I mean that that’s what happens and oh that’s a very interesting

[00:39:09] statement I like that yeah so wait let me repeat that when we don’t process our emotions we become led by them uh so

[00:39:18] many people are led by their emotions what why is it that not processing them

[00:39:23] and maybe we can break that down a little bit what does it mean to process your emotions and why is that so important to keep them from Guiding your

[00:39:30] life well we’re told to walk by faith right not by our feelings and it’s

[00:39:35] easier said than done right but we also do have feelings that’s just what it is a lot of times we tend to to try to

[00:39:42] either live by our feelings or cut off our feelings 100% we can’t do that the

[00:39:49] the most healthy way to approach this is to understand that yes we are going to

[00:39:55] experience feelings whether that’s Joy or pain and to process through them in a

[00:40:00] healthy way a lot of times we don’t process through our feelings in a healthy way because we haven’t been shown how and so in the book I I just go

[00:40:08] through step by step how to process painful emotions how to even process painful emotions that you have toward

[00:40:15] God because listen sometimes we do and that’s what keeps us from drawing close to God and

[00:40:21] that’s something that I don’t hear talked about and and

[00:40:28] my patience wouldn’t go to a pastor about because they felt so much shame around and so I wanted to address it

[00:40:35] because if you’re mad at God God already knows it and he’s not scared of your emotions just go to him and talk to him

[00:40:42] he’s not going to strike you down he wants to have a father child

[00:40:47] relationship with you he didn’t send Jesus to the Cross so that you know he’ll die for your sins and then you get

[00:40:55] upset with him and then he’ll say you know what forgets you that that that’s not how we

[00:41:01] feel I mean so can you give us an example of just a quick example of what it looks like to process emotions in a

[00:41:10] healthy manner what what does that look like practically speaking for somebody yeah so I’ll give you an examp let’s say

[00:41:17] um let’s say I I’m holding um resentment against somebody

[00:41:23] who has hurt me right if I’ve never learned how to process through that it’s just going to it’s just going to stay

[00:41:29] there and that’s going to cause anxiety it’s going to cause probably panic attacks so the proper way to do this is

[00:41:38] understanding that you can go to God and process your emotions with him so and and and I like to throw this verse out

[00:41:44] there it’s Psalm 628 where David says pour out your heart to him for God is

[00:41:50] our refuge okay so he’s not going to strike you down for pouring your heart to him he says pour out your heart to

[00:41:55] him in his word so you go to God and say Lord I am very mad at this person don’t

[00:42:02] try to go King James don’t try to be proper just talk to God yes with

[00:42:08] reverence because he is God but also understand that he loves you and he says

[00:42:13] to come to the throne of grace boldly so go to God and say Lord I am mad at this person I don’t want to talk to them no I

[00:42:19] don’t want to pray for them they made me mad this is what they did this person stole from me or this or I did such and

[00:42:26] such to take take care of this person only for them to betray me this person stole my job the job I wanted right from

[00:42:32] under me tell God what that person did to you because here’s the thing it needs

[00:42:38] that emotion needs to come out somewhere a lot of times the reason I say go to

[00:42:43] God first is a lot a lot of times we go to the wrong people and those people

[00:42:49] don’t validate us and and it backfires on us so go to God and talk to him about

[00:42:55] it and is he going to tell you this is why this happened maybe he will but I

[00:43:01] can tell you what’s going to happen one of two things he’s either going to give

[00:43:07] you insight as to why the situation took place or he’s going to give you peace

[00:43:12] about the situation because here’s why he knit your heart together in your

[00:43:18] mother’s womb he God knows how to talk to you he knows how to communicate with

[00:43:24] you and so what you have to do is open your your heart to him tell him exactly how you feel you have if you have to cry

[00:43:31] cry if you have to scream scream tell them exactly why you’re mad and then

[00:43:36] that’s when we move forward toward forgiveness and letting go of that pain you see Kevin a lot of times even in the

[00:43:44] church we tell people you know what that person hurts you just forgive them and move forward that’s called premature

[00:43:50] forgiveness that’s forgiving someone without processing through the pain of

[00:43:56] forgiveness we have to process through the pain of of the pain of of what that

[00:44:01] person did to us sometimes and then we can move forward to forgiving them that

[00:44:06] makes a lot of sense and then why would it be that if you don’t go through that process of of uh like you said

[00:44:12] processing your emotions um why does that cause you to be led by your emotions and what does that look like uh

[00:44:20] to be led by your emotions rather than to process them so it’s more so a the

[00:44:26] the answer answer to that is more so clinical so in our the way our brain works is we have an emotional Wheelhouse

[00:44:33] in the middle section right it’s called the amygdala and this part is our prefrontal cortex that’s our the the

[00:44:40] objective part of our brain what happens is when we don’t process through our emotions the emotional wheelhouse

[00:44:47] literally they have found clinical data that it becomes inflamed more so and so

[00:44:52] it hijacks this part so this part of our brain turns off off the logic turns off

[00:44:59] and we become led by the emotion because we haven’t been able to process through our emotions now when we are able to

[00:45:05] when we process through our emotions our emotions go through the logic we’re able to sort

[00:45:12] of it’s just as we talk we’re able it goes from emotion to short-term memory

[00:45:17] to logic and we’re able to talk through it it’s like digesting I mean it’s like digesting your emotions and when you

[00:45:24] don’t digest them they give you a stomach I mean that’s what yeah yeah

[00:45:30] yeah literally and and it’s interesting because obviously um to be led by your emotions can be very dangerous if if you

[00:45:37] if you have not um submitted those to logic and the word of God then you end

[00:45:43] up making some pretty bad decisions because you’re angry so you might lash out at somebody or whatever the case you

[00:45:49] you I mean you could go in all kinds of horrible directions so that that’s really really interesting huh oh yeah

[00:45:55] and some people now go to The Other Extreme where they say you know what I’m just going to disconnect from my

[00:46:01] emotions it’s called the emotional Detachment right they say you know what I’m just not going to be led by anything

[00:46:08] I’m just going to disconnect that’s when they feel numb here’s the problem when you disconnect by emotions it goes back to your emotional wheelhouse when you

[00:46:15] say I’m not even going to be I’m not even going to feel any emotions you’re not just cutting off bad emotions you’re

[00:46:22] cutting off good ones too you’re not going to feel happy joy peace you’re not

[00:46:27] going to feel any of that because wow that’s where they all rest and you’re you’re just you just won’t W that’s

[00:46:34] amazing Kenza uh I really enjoyed um talking to you and just uh listening to

[00:46:40] your testimony It’s amazing And um for those of you again uh just tuning in or

[00:46:45] maybe catching the tail end of our talk here kenah had.com uh like I said she has a series on YouTube that you can

[00:46:51] also check out and um then her book The Three enemies of your mental health there’s so much here that we can learn

[00:46:58] about ourselves and about others and just um really to be become more like Christ and become a better Christian and

[00:47:04] a better light to the people around us rather than causing trauma we become a solution for trauma as God works through

[00:47:11] us so thank you so much for your ministry and just um for all the wisdom you shared thank you so much it was fun

[00:47:18] absolutely okay well I’ll continue to share your book with people and um and

[00:47:23] uh also continuing to pray for Muslims around the country and around the world for them to come to know Christ because that’s pretty amazing too so phenomenal

[00:47:31] and uh for those of you uh you know we’ll be back again next week we’ve got all kinds of phenomenal guests coming up

[00:47:38] my website’s educate forlife.org all kinds of resources there for you to check out and grow in your faith and

[00:47:44] your confidence in the word of God thanks for being with us this evening look forward to seeing you again next

[00:47:49] time How can you live in San Diego and miss out on enjoying the water fast lane

[00:47:55] kaying sells popular po hobiecat kayaks that you pedal not paddle that means your hands are left free for fishing and

[00:48:02] fun just throw these on your roof rack they’re light and they’re easy to use and maintain just rinse them off try one

[00:48:09] free on a demo ride for 36 years Ron and Debbie Lane have served San Diego with

[00:48:15] fun familyfriendly water sports of all kinds learn more fastlanes sailing.com

[00:48:20] 619 222 0766 educate for life helps you build

[00:48:25] your life on the rock LG equipment helps Builders build on good soil Luke Gibson’s team at LG equipment is your

[00:48:32] local source for grading demolition hauling and more learn about their bulk water services from trucks to tankers to

[00:48:38] Towers at rwater tower.com get your questions answered call LG equipment at

[00:48:43] 619 988 924 learn more at LG equipment.com 619

[00:48:50] 988 924 hi this is Jason Hall president of Team Home Loans a brand of synergy One

[00:48:57] Lending I just want to take this opportunity to thank Kevin Conover for the profound impact he’s had on mine and

[00:49:03] my wife’s spiritual life as well as being an incredible teacher while our kids were his students his knowledge and

[00:49:08] passion have taught us all how important it is to be Defenders of our faith it’s our honor and privilege to support Kevin

[00:49:15] and his show it is our sincere hope and prayer that you will continue to learn to be Defenders of your faith through

[00:49:20] Kevin’s radio show and through his educate for Life teachings thank you Kevin from the hall family and team home

[00:49:26] Home Loans when you need tires or service count on Conover tires wheels and service in Oceanside for a full

[00:49:32] range of affordable options in all the brands you trust see their great customer reviews and special offers

[00:49:38] online hours Tuesday through Friday 7:30 to 5:30 and Saturdays 730 to 5 call Dan

[00:49:44] and his team at 760 4391 1631 Conover tires wheels and service 2405 Oceanside

[00:49:51] Boulevard in Oceanside 760 4391 1631 okay